That willingness you showed? That endless patience in the chaotic relationship? The narcissist noticed it, they just used it.
We make a critical mistake thinking our best could’ve changed them. Why? Because for years, we poured:
– Effort (that was never reciprocated)
– Love (that was weaponized against us)
– Tears (they laughed at)
– Communication (they twisted)
…into a relationship that was, at its core, a fraud.
The Awakening
It hits you like a bucket of ice water:
“I spent years wondering if I was the problem.”
You tried:
- Changing your schedule
- Adjusting your attitude
- Modifying how you responded
- Altering how you dressed
- Giving *even more* emotional support
And at every turn? You were still wrong. The goalposts kept moving. The narcissist’s appetite for control? Bottomless!
What does that do to even the strongest person? It cracks your armor; that protective shell hiding:
– Past abandonment
– Old trauma
– Betrayal wounds
– Silent grief
The Cold Truth About the Narcissist
When you finally see them—truly see them—you realize:
– Their “depth” was kids’ washable paint (easily wiped away)
– The “love” was a blank canvas (empty at the core)
– When they would smirk at your pain? They weren’t mistakes, they were the point!
That’s not just cold. It’s:
– Insidious (calculated cruelty)
– Devious (premeditated harm)
– Disrespectful (to your humanity)
Why Abandoning Them Is Your Power Move
You deserve to:
- Walk away from their chaos
- Discover your love wasn’t “too little”—it was misdirected
- Break the trauma bond (that *lie* that you needed them)
Here’s what changes when you choose you
– Your nervous system calms (no more daily cortisol spikes)
– Personal time becomes yours (no more walking on eggshells)
– That soul of yours gets to breathe (no more criticism under their microscope)
The REAL Work Begins Now
Abandoning them is step one. Healing? That’s the journey.
You need to:
- Tell your story (shame dissolves in sunlight)
- Fortify boundaries (like your life depends on it, because it does)
- Rebuild physically (sleep, diet, movement, your body’s been at war)
- Seek trauma-informed support (therapy, coaching, real community)
- Expose the truth (to friends/family; no more protecting their image)
This freedom? It’s heavier than you expected. That’s normal!
This Is Your Renaissance
That “armor” you wore? Melt it down. Forge something new:
– Self-worth that’s unshakable*
– Discernment that’s razor-sharp
– Standards that terrify mediocre people
The narcissist wanted you to believe you were nothing without them.
Joke’s on them. You? You’re everything you need without them.
Stay Inspired,
Weav
Marcus Weaver,
Weav Told Me LLC.
Sunday April 27th, 2025