I once heard Oprah say in an interview that “the whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” To me that was an extremely powerful message, and it made me change the way I look at the value of life, love, and relationships. So, when I say the evolution of love, I mean that in quite the literal sense. One of the misconceptions that happen in relationships, and part of the reason why a lot of relationships get stagnant is not just because of our expectations. It’s because of our refusal to change. We get so stuck in our ways, schedules, and way of thinking that it tends to negatively impact the love we share with our partner. I personally do not believe that the love you share is ever meant to stay the same. It should never stay in same where it started.

But think about the word I used a short time ago, change! How resistant are you to change? I’m not just referring to changes in your personal life, but also in your relationship. How likely are you to show random acts of kindness? How likely are you to know that your partner made a mistake and try to be understanding about it, instead of getting angry? How likely are you to randomly surprise your partner with a thank you card, and put it in the sun visor of their car just because? The amount of evolution I am referring to is not limited to date nights. It’s not limited to “I love you.” As your love grows so do your responsibilities, right? You go through career, financial, and overall personal growth changes. So, the important thing becomes your ability to adapt to said changes.

You May See Things Differently Than Your Partner

 

While you may come home to each other at night, kiss, have sex, and go out on dates, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t distance between the two of you. Therefore, it becomes important to understand that as you evolve and grow that your relationship needs to be an even bigger point of emphasis. It’s being able notice when your wife or girlfriend chose a different nail color than usual. Its noticing when your husband or boyfriend comes home and seems like he doesn’t want to be bothered. It also involves being able to give each other space to spend time with your respective friends and family, but still finding the time to pay attention to detail. And even that, is only a fraction of your evolution.

The way you look at each other changes when you have been together for years. As you grow old together and learn of differing ways on how to parent your children, you begin realizing that things are different than when there were just 2 of you. Your foundation and priorities remain the same, but now you are making time for things you never had too before. The goal is to maintain the happiness you bought into that relationship. Because the last thing you want to do is feel codependent on your partner to BE your central source of happiness. Your coexistence as a couple should be self-explanatory. Your love should overpower your disagreements, and your patience should be next level when you are frustrated with each other, know why? Because that’s love! More importantly that’s the evolution of love.

You Are Both Building on Your Character

 

You are building on your character while also showing the type of necessary changes it takes to build and keep a meaningful relationship alive. A relationship is hard ass work! It takes next level patience and commitment to want to be better than you were yesterday. But if you want it to last and remain a great foundation then it’s meaningful work. The space between meaningful and important is time. So, you need to ask yourself if the time you are putting into adapting to the ever-changing ebbs and flows of love enough? If the answer I anything other than a resounding, yes? Then you my friend have some work to do, IF you want it to work long term. Relationships that last are not a coincidence.

The way you treat your love is the way you treat yourself. When you see someone in that mirror that you don’t like then you treat your partner as such. When you are unhappy in your professional life it reflects you wanting better. But sometimes we are unable to see the forest for the trees and take it out on our partner. The great thing about your relationship situation is it gives you the opportunity of a lifetime. The opportunity for you to be rich. And no, I’m not talking about rich in terms of money. This type of rich though can help you mature and develop that relationship into something great together. And to me, having a meaningful relationship with someone you feel is your soulmate is the equivalent of being rich.

So, try it! Try adapting to the ever-evolving river of love and see where it takes you. Times change and so do people. The one thing that stays consistent is always consistent in our lives is indeed change. Embrace that change and allow it to let your love flourish. Don’t feel obligated to do things the way you always have before. Feel obligated to let your love for each other be. Just BE! Whatever the hell you want it to be, let it be. But there are no restriction or rules where and how love can flourish.

“If you want a love and relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth? Then you need to treat it like it’s the most amazing thing on earth!”

 

Stay Inspired,

Weav

 

Marcus Weaver,

Weav Told Me LLC.

Monday September 6, 2021