If you’ve recently got out of a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that your heart and mind are still recovering from the overwhelming feelings of love and affection that they initially showered you with. This sort of relationship isn’t real, it’s what we refer to as “love bombing”, which is a manipulative tactic used by narcissistic individuals to gain your trust, admiration, and control of you. Understanding how to recognize and protect yourself from love bombing is crucial for healing and preventing it from ever happening again to you in the future.
The truth is, narcissistic people will use love bombing as a way to manipulate and get you “hooked” you into their world. What you will need to accept eventually? Is that it’s not your fault for being drawn in. Narcissists are pro’s at creating intense emotional highs that feel incredibly intoxicating in the beginning. But by understanding how they operate and learning to recognize the red flags? That will help you can regain control over your relationships and avoid falling into the same traps you might have fallen for in the past.
Let’s Talk About The Basics of What Exactly IS Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with excessive affection, compliments, gifts, attention, and promises of a future together (we also call this “future faking”). The narcissists goal is to make you feel special, admired, and deeply connected to them, usually super quickly. It can sometimes feel like the world-wind of romance, but eventually turns into a WHOLE nightmare. Their goal is to create a sense of dependence and attachment before you have a chance to even understand who they are or what their TRUE intentions may be.
I know, I know! It felt so amazing and great in the beginning. But the truth you will uncover later is that they were only focused on getting what they want from you, whether it’s admiration, control, or emotional validation. It’s not about genuine love or care. It’s only about manipulation.
How Can You Recognize Love Bombing in The Future?
Here are a few common signs to watch for in the early stages of a relationship/dating stages:
1. Overwhelming You With Compliments: At first, it might feel nice to be told you’re the most amazing person they’ve ever met. But narcissists will often flatter excessively sometimes saying things like, “I’ve never met anyone like you,” or “You’re my soulmate,” within just a few days or weeks. Their ultimate goal here is to build a connection (or attachment) fast and deeply before you have a chance to evaluate them fully.
2. Too Much Too Soon: Narcissists LOVE to rush relationships. They may want to move in together, talk about marriage, or even introduce you to their family incredibly quick. This “urgency” is part of their strategy to solidify control and influence over you.
3. Constant Communication: In the beginning, they will bombard you with messages, calls, and even gifts. They may claim that they can’t stop thinking about you or that they’ve never “felt a connection like this before”. This constant attention is meant to make you feel important, but it can also be a sign that they’re trying to establish emotional dominance over you.
4. Making You Feel Special and Unique: Narcissists have a way of making you feel like you’re the only person who truly understands them or can fulfill their needs. They may share ridiculously exaggerated stories about their life or experiences to make you feel like you’re the one who “gets them.”
5. Lack of Boundaries: Love bombing is usually paired with a disregard for your personal boundaries. They may push for intimacy or closeness before you’re ready, while simultaneously making you feel guilty for needing space or time to think.
It’s super important to remember that love bombing isn’t a reflection of your worth or attractiveness. Narcissists use this tactic because they are focused on controlling and manipulating you for their own needs. They want to create an emotional bond quickly, so you won’t have time to question their motives or see the potential red flags. It’s not about real love; it’s about securing your loyalty and admiration to feed their own ego.
How to Protect Yourself from Love Bombing
1. Take Your Time: Healthy long-lasting relationships take time to grow. If someone is rushing you or pressuring you to make quick decisions, it’s a HUGE red flag. Don’t be afraid to take things slowly and make sure you’re really getting to know them. Pay attention to how they act over time, not just the intense feelings they provoke in the beginning of the dating stages.
2. Set Your Boundaries Early: A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect. If someone is constantly pushing you past your boundaries or making you feel guilty for needing space, this is a sign of manipulation at its finest. Learn to assert your boundaries early and clearly.
3. Look for Consistency, Not “Intensity”: Pay attention to the person’s actions over time. Do they follow through on their promises? Are they kind and respectful in a consistent way? Or do they only show affection when it benefits them? Genuine love is built on trust and reliability, not intensity or grand gestures.
4. Trust Your Discernment: If something feels off, it’s a firm NO. You can unpack the details later. Narcissists can be incredibly charming, but they often leave you feeling confused, unsettled, or uncertain. Take a step back and evaluate the situation before jumping in too deep.
5. Don’t Settle for Wonderful “Words”: It’s easy to get swept up in the promises of love and devotion in a relationship, but actions always and forever will speak louder than words. Pay attention to how they treat you when things aren’t perfect, when you have conflict, and when they don’t get their way. Do they still respect you? Do they support your independence? Or do they become critical or controlling when they don’t get their way?
Final Thoughts: Healing and Empowerment
The moral of the story is narcissists are incredibly skilled manipulators, and they will prey on anyones vulnerabilities, and yes, their tactics can be difficult to see if you’ve never dealt with someone like them before. But now that you are aware of these behaviors, you have the power to recognize them and protect yourself in any future relationships.
You deserve a healthy, respectful relationship that is built on trust, mutual understanding, and emotional support, not the constant mind-games and manipulation Narcissists like to play. As you heal from past trauma do yourself a favor, take your time, set clear boundaries, and trust your when something (or someone in this case) feels off. The right person will love you for who you truly are, not for who they want you to be.
Be kind to yourself as you move forward daily. You are strong, worthy, and capable of building the loving, healthy relationships you deserve.
Stay Inspired,
Weav
Marcus Weaver,
Weav Told Me LLC.
Friday December 6th, 2024