Let’s talk about it. Why do we even consider breaking no contact? Why, when we know better, do we still feel like we’ve got something to say? Like maybe, just maybe, this time it’ll be different? Only to find out later… spoiler alert: it won’t!
Let’s keep it a buck, it’s fear. But not the kind of fear you’re thinking of. Not the “I’ll never find someone better” fear. Nah, we’re way past that. I’m talking about the kind of fear that makes you sit with your grief. The kind that has you questioning everything. Like, “Do I even know what love is?” or “Am I doomed to pick people who lie, cheat, and play in my face forever?”
No contact? It’s the ultimate mirror. It forces you to stare down your demons, deal with your trauma, and get real cozy in solitude. And let’s be honest, no matter how much you try to play it cool, a breakup hurts. Especially if you gave it your all. If you poured into the relationship, built something together, cared deeply, maybe even had kids or got married. That kind of attachment doesn’t just vanish because the relationship did.
But here’s the kicker… that attachment isn’t always about love. Sometimes it’s about the unmet expectations. The time you spent with someone who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) meet your emotional, physical, or spiritual needs. And now? You’re left sitting there like, “Wait, was any of it even real?”
Breaking no contact? That’s all psychological. We tell ourselves stories. Like, “Maybe they’ve changed,” or “Maybe they’ll finally understand how much they hurt me.” But let me ask you this: what could you possibly say now that you haven’t already said? When you were pleading with them to do better, try harder, love deeper? You think a few days, weeks, or months apart magically turned them into a whole new person? Nah. If they couldn’t step up when you were together, what makes you think they’ll step up now?
And let’s not forget the rebound. Oh, the rebound. But here’s the real… rebounds aren’t about love. They’re about distraction. And if your ex is out there jumping into something new, that’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their inability to sit with their own shit.
Here’s the hard truth… sometimes we realize we were caught in a charade. A silly little game where our ex was just playing a role, adjusting day by day to who they thought we wanted them to be. But the whole time? They were faking the funk. Not invested. Not doing the personal work it takes to build something real. And in the end? That’s not a loss. That’s a BIG ass win. Because now you’re free. Free to stop wasting your time on someone who wasn’t worth it.
So, don’t you dare break no contact. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Because every time you resist the urge to reach out, you’re choosing yourself. You’re choosing healing. And you’re choosing a future where you don’t settle for less than you deserve.
And hey, if you’re sitting there thinking, “But what if I really need to say something?” Let me stop you right there. Write it down. Scream it into a pillow. Text it to yourself. But don’t you dare send it to them. Because the person who deserves your energy, your love, and your words? Is you.
Why No Contact is the Ultimate Act of Self-Love
As a trauma recovery and breakup coach, I’ve seen it time and time again: the no contact rule isn’t just about cutting off your ex it’s about reclaiming your power. It’s about giving yourself the space to heal, to reflect, and to rebuild.
When you’re healing after a breakup, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that reaching out will bring closure. But here’s the thing: closure doesn’t come from them. It comes from you. It comes from sitting with your emotions, processing your pain, and deciding that you’re worth more than breadcrumbs.
How to Stick to No Contact (Even When It Feels Impossible)
- Delete Their Number: Out of sight, out of mind. Seriously.
- Write, Don’t Send: Journal your thoughts instead of texting them. It’s cathartic and keeps you from regretting that 2 a.m. “I miss you” message.
- Focus on You: Dive into hobbies, therapy, or even a new fitness routine. Healing after a breakup is about rediscovering who you are outside of the relationship.
- Lean on Your Squad: Surround yourself with people who remind you of your worth.
The Bigger Picture: Emotional Healing After a Breakup
The no contact rule isn’t just a breakup strategy, it’s a trauma recovery tool. It forces you to confront the patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. It helps you rebuild trust in yourself and your ability to discern what love truly is.
And here’s the best part: when you commit to no contact, you’re not just moving on from your ex. You’re moving toward a version of yourself who knows their worth, sets boundaries, and refuses to settle for less than they deserve.
Final Thoughts
Breaking no contact might feel tempting in the moment, but it’s never worth it. Trust me, as a breakup coach, I’ve seen the aftermath. It’s messy, it’s painful, and it sets you back in your healing journey.
So, don’t you dare break no contact. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Because you? You’re worth more than that.
Stay Inspired,
Weav
Marcus Weaver,
Weav Told Me LLC.
Monday March 10th, 2025